On Becoming Famous For Writing a Blog

Today I was thinking, "Wow! If my blog got popular enough, maybe I'll get a book deal and then later on they'll make a movie about my life!"

Then I would be set for life.

But the more I thought about it, the more I think this would be a bad idea.

First -- what would they call the movie? Dana & The Swedish Chef? That sounds more like a romantic comedy or a cautionary tale.

Second -- I don't want to get into a collossal fight with my boyfriend about how I care more about my readers than I care about him, or have a bunch of freakouts because the eggs turned out to be ping pong balls after all.

Third -- I don't want the Swedish Chef to learn about my blog from a reporter and then tell the reporter that he hates me and the same reporter will call and tell me that the Swedish Chef hates me and I will cry and cry and cry until my boyfriend tells me it's no big deal and the Chef just doesn't understand and it's the Chef in my head that counts anyway, not the puppet, so everything is okay after all. And then people on the internet will make all kinds of comments about whether or not I'm exploiting the Swedish Chef and his legacy just to be well off, even though that was never my intention at all, I just wanted to spend a year being totally cool even though everything is completely fucked up!!!

Take that rubber chicken and eat it! I don't want your stinkin' book deal or movie anyway!!!!!!