Dear Family Members, Friends, and Debt Collectors... *

This is not Jasmine, JoJo, or Joe's phone number anymore. Perhaps she (he?) grew tired of you and changed her number. Maybe her bills have been run up so high that she wearied of the harassing phone calls (which I am now getting). What if she was being stalked by some creep and felt the need to change it to help hide from him? Maybe, just MAYBE, you people call so damn often that she needed a much-deserved break from you all. MAYBE it's your stubborn insistence that it's MY fault or somehow MY problem that she changed her number. Maybe THAT'S why she changed it. You know I appreciate persistence, but there's a LIMIT.

For instance, when someone politely answers the phone and tell you that you have gotten the wrong number, you should apologize and hang up. Then, check the number you dialed and see if it was the one you meant to dial. Perhaps try the number you meant again. If it is, AGAIN, the wrong number, do not get sassy with the person on the other line!! Do not insist that you are that person's aunt, particularly if you are not. Do not keep asking questions about Jasmine, JoJo, or Joe (this person has no idea who that person is, except that this person knows a debt collector is after her). Do not send repeat text messages asking if perhaps, JoJo got her phone number back. Don't keep calling, over and over again, after you've been told repeatedly that this is not Jasmine's phone number anymore.

This is not rocket science. This is like telephone etiquette 101.

Thanks for the birthday wishes though (you're a bit early, it's in October).

Sincerely,

Dana

Dear Jasmine, JoJo, or Joe:

You need to hang around a smarter bunch of people.

-Dana

*Not my family members, friends, or debt collectors. Hers. (His?)