Some Days I Argue With Verizon Customer Service Reps Using Their Chat Feature

This is the conversation I had with the Verizon chat rep last Monday. I rearranged some bits of the conversation because I type fast and "Janet" types slow, so a lot of her responses were logged wayy after mine. I have not altered anything she said -- the grammar/spelling is what she actually wrote.

I hope in the future, someone teaches these obviously outsourced chat reps what the word "discount" means.

You are now chatting with 'Janet'

Janet: Hello. Thank you for visiting our Verizon chat service. How can I help you set up your new service and save with a Verizon bundle?

you: I just moved to Long Beach from Chicago, where I had AT&T's dry loop service. I'd like something comparable to that.

you: also, do you offer any discounts for already having a Verizon cell phone service? AT&T gave me a discount because I was also a cell phone customer.

Janet: I will be happy to help you with that.

Janet: You will not get any discounts but you can have option of getting one bill.

you: no thanks.

you: and I already have a modem from AT&T, do I need to purchase a new one to have Verizon services?

Janet: You can use Ethernet modems like Westell 515, 516. Or you can use Dual-Link modems like Westell 2110, 2200, 6100.

Janet: Could you please tell me which Internet plans are showing to you?

you: There's the Starter Plan for $19.99 and the $29.99 Power Plan

you: and the Turbo plan

you: do you offer any discounts to new customers?

you: like free shipping, etc.?

Janet: You will only get FREE modem for $39.99 you need to pay $19.99 as activation charge.

you: I see all your fees here, I'm just wondering if you have any discounts available.

you: because it comes out to something like $55 for the first payment.

Janet: Could you please tell me which plan you have selected?

you: the starter plan

Janet: You might have seelcte Router worth $14.99 which is not FREE?

you: yes, that is because I need internet services for more than one computer.

Janet: You have made correct seelction.

you: I know.

you: I am wondering if there are any Verizon discounts available, because AT&T notified me that Verizon has a monopoly on the Long Beach area, which is upsetting to me, since I already own equipment for AT&T services and was receiving a discount.

Janet: You will get 1 month money back guarantee.
you: That's not really a discount.
Janet: You can use our service and if you don't like you can cancel it without paying any penny.

you: I understand what a money-back guarantee is.

Janet: I apologize as I am explaining you.

Janet: Are you able to proceed?

you: I can, yes, but I am thinking about just paying more to stay with AT&T. They can offer me a wireless card that works anywhere.

Janet: I am here to assist you.

you: Yes, but I have asked if there are discounts available and it seems that there are not, based on your responses.

you: I would just like to work with a provider that has a good deal, and that does not seem to be Verizon.

Janet: I apologize for inconvenience held to you.

you: Nevermind, I think I will not purchase from Verizon today.

Janet: Do you have any other questions I can help you with?

(I then closed the chat box, more irritated than ever)

Several days later, having given in, knowing how monopolies work and anti-trust laws don't... I subscribed to their internet services and promptly received three e-mails from Verizon in a row (couldn't they have sent one large e-mail? Or is that too difficult?) about my new subscription.

One of them listed what I was getting:

Dear Valued Verizon Online Member,

Thank you for your order for Verizon High Speed Internet service!

Here is a summary of your High Speed Internet Order

• Number: 1631
• Service Ready Date*: 09-30-2009
• Your Verizon High Speed Internet Plan**: Up to 1M Dry Loop Annual Plan
• Speed at your home will be up to: 1M/384K
• Shipping and Activation Fee: $19.99
• Equipment Ordered: Consumer Quick Start Poster-- $ 0 Consumer DSL CD-- $ 0 Consumer Dry Loop Welcome Letter-- $ 0 $ 14.99 Actiontec-Gateway--- $ 14.99 DSL for Home Resource Guide-- $ 0 DSL for Home Terms of Service-- $ 0 Understanding Your HSI Bill Insert-- $ 0
• Installation Kit Shipping Date: 09-24-2009

Wow, Verizon. Thank YOU so MUCH for not charging me for the

• Consumer Quick Start Poster
• Home Resource Guide
• Understanding your HSI Bill Insert
• Consumer DSL CD
• and Consumer Dry Loop WELCOME LETTER!

I REALLY feel like I am getting a deal here! Free welcome letters? Who does that?! You know what, Verizon, do me a big favor and don't send me any "understanding your bill" inserts or quick start posters. Save a tree, go fuck yourself.

THERE'S MORE!

On the no less than four e-mails I've received from Verizon, each and every one of them have made mention of their WONDERFUL "What's Next?" feature on their website, where, presumably, I'll be able to see what will happen next with installation, billing, etc., and have access to their oh-so-helpful customer service reps.

Not the case.

Because I don't have a home Verizon line, I've been given a data phone line which will be used on my bills and to connect to the internet, and so on. See standard log-in page below:

Awesome! I can even win $1,000!!! Except that it does not work. Ever. A week after I've signed up for services and I still cannot log in. Check this out:

Normally, I don't mind error messages. Because you get them every once in awhile, and the solution is simply to click on the "Sign In Help" button, right?

NOT SO!

This is what comes up when you click on "Sign In Help":

Guess what happens when you try to enter in your billing number* and last name...

THAT'S RIGHT! Screen number TWO again.

You can go on and on for hours like this. In fact, the only thing that differentiates the Help screen from the other ones is that there's no happy cuddling couple looking at... WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT? Their chance to win $1,000??? Why do you suck so much already, Verizon????

*I tried both my data line number and my cell phone number. Neither work. Nor does logging in over and over and over again, in hopes the repetition will make the website finally recognize me.